My BlackBerry: “I’m ashamed of it”

please commence with any and all jokes about a BYOD and consumerization reporter owning a dumbphone.

No, not really, since owning a BlackBerry would actually be an upgrade over the mobile phone I currently own. Yes, please commence with any and all jokes about a BYOD and consumerization reporter owning a dumbphone. Thems the breaks, as my old man used to say.

More to the point, the New York Times just published a story about people ashamed to own a BlackBerry device. As far as journalism goes, it's pretty awful and probably represents a nadir in NYT trend stories. Especially because the story was on the front page. However, as far as having exceptional pull quotes to laugh over it is 100% AMAZING. 

Unless otherwise noted, these quotes are ripped directly from the article. We've added emphasis to turns of expression we particularly enjoyed. Let's dive in, shall we? 

  • “I want to take a bat to it,” Ms. Crosby said, after waiting for her phone’s browser to load for the third minute, only to watch the battery die. “You can’t do anything with it. You’re supposed to, but it’s all a big lie.”
  • Victoria Gossage, a 28-year-old hedge fund marketer, said she recently attended a work retreat at Piping Rock Club, an upscale country club in Locust Valley, N.Y., and asked the concierge for a phone charger. “First he said, ‘Sure.’ Then he saw my phone and — in this disgusted tone — said, ‘Oh no, no, not for that.’ ”
  • “BlackBerry users are like Myspace users,” sneers Craig Robert Smith, a Los Angeles musician. “They probably still chat on AOL Instant Messenger.” 
  • “I feel absolutely helpless,” said Ms. Gossage. “You’re constantly watching people do all these things on their phones and all I have going for me is my family’s group BBM chats.”
  • Here's the wife of a BlackBerry user: Shannon Hutto, says with a sigh: “Anytime we go anywhere, I always have to pull up the map. If we’re searching for a restaurant, I pull up the Yelp app. If we need a reservation, I pull up OpenTable. I kind of feel like his personal assistant.”
  • “This is the sign of a desperate company,” said Nick Mindel, a 26-year-old investment analyst. “Come on, BlackBerry, I always had some faith, but you just lost a customer. Frankly, I don’t think they can afford to lose many more.”
  • Mr. Mindel said he just joined the wait list for the iPhone 5. When it arrives, he said, "I’m considering removing my BlackBerry battery, pouring in cement, and using the BlackBerry as an actual paperweight.”
Best article you will read all day, guaranteed. 

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Poor RIM. How do you get from a device people can't live without, to one they can't even be seen with? We just eliminated our last Blackberries at my company this week.  Our users couldn't get rid of them fast enough.

Thanks for the great post Jim!